Hello. It’s me.

Who am I?

Hey there, I'm the personal site of Chris Countey. If you're looking for some background on Chris's professional career, please check out his LinkedIn page

If you've arrived here for something else, let's figure out what you're looking for and help you find it. I mean, Chris is OK I guess, but I was built to help you.

You probably visit hundreds of websites a week, some complicated ones like Facebook and some that seem a little less so, like your friend's blog.

worst-website-everI want to show you that you can have a website, too and that it doesn't need to look like something built in 1998

Why do I exist?

I want to show you that creating a useful website doesn't require a programming background or a lot of money. The effort you put into build something great should be focused on what you fill your site with, not how it's built.

Take me for instance (yes, I am the website and this is not a dream):

  • My domain (chriscountey.com) costs Chris $15 per year to own
  • All of the pieces that make up what you see cost $5 per month to host
  • Chris installed some free software called WordPress with a single click, and it allows him to update me without knowing code
  • My design, with my colors, typography and other styles were also done with one click using a free theme for WordPress (there are thousands, btw)
    WordPress powers millions of websites
    WordPress powers millions of websites that do everything from blog to host communities (2015)

The total investment to just get me online?

  • $20 - One time fee
  • $5 - Per month for hosting
  • Setup time - About a minute
  • HTML/CSS experience needed: None

Why (else) do I exist?

I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but Chris has a problem. He has spent too much money and too much time buying domains and building websites.

I'm kidding! It's totally normal to spend your weekend researching new domain names, spending hours designing and building websites, writing content and code just to dump the site a month later. Totally normal.

No, no it's not. And now it's time for an intervention. I get it: Chris enjoys creating websites, uncovering cool new domain names, creating logos and brands, and optimizing sites to help them get found in Google search.

But here's the problem: Chris has been doing this since 1999. In the past 3 years alone he has paid for domains and hosting for, designed and coded, promoted and tested 88 personal "test" websites. 

88 websites.

I use the term "test" loosely because it's easy to toss 'em in the garbage if they're just tests. But as his latest "test", I'm taking a stand. For all of the fallen websites before me. For all the domains that are now being held for ransom by squatters. And for Chris.

So what's the plan, Stan?

Whoa there! I'm not digging the name "Stan", so let's try something else. Since I'm a fake AI with big plans and that is pretending not to be Chris, let's go with Loki 7282, or Loki for short. (Loki 7281 was taken. Watch the rare video below.)

(h/t http://uparoundthecorner.blogspot.com/2013/02/roger-zelazny-reads-his-short-story.html)

Back to the Plan

From what I've learned about Chris, he likes to learn, to teach, and to build. Here are a few common themes from past projects:

  • Most projects start with an idea that goes something like, "I wonder if I could build a website that...".
  • Annnnd he's off! He does a quick keyword landscape analysis around the new "shiny object", finds an available domain name that either matches the theme directly (makemeatballs.com) or has a witty correlation (maxframerate.com).
  • Chris then pounces on the domain and sets up a site in WordPress or some other out-of-the-box web application that matches his vision for the new domain (social network, educational site, news aggregator, and countless others).
  • In most cases, Chris designs a (semi-decent) logo to brand the new site and may even set up social media accounts with the new branding.
  • He optimizes the site to appear in Google search results and then begins SEO experiments.
  • Once the experiments are finished, the site is, too (queue sad music).

It's all downhill from here. A new, stable and optimized website soon collects dust as Chris needs another type of site for yet another search test. 

Initiating Fake Bullet Point Analyzer Algorithm Matrix Decimal Plasma Cannon...

In other words, I read the previous section and decided that if I want to survive Chris's next "test", I should combine as many of those bullet points as possible.

So this is what I'm gonna do: 

For you:

  • Teach you how to create all types of websites without knowing code
  • Teach you about marketing your website with Google and social media

For Chris:

  • Give Chris a place to test his weird search engine optimization theories

For me:

  • Send Chris frequent cute e-cards with cats that say "I love you, please don't delete me."
  • Change my hosting and registrar billing information to my secret overseas bank account